A Letter from the Future

Ah... I'm feeling a bit nervous. Even though I'm not sure why; after all, it's not like writing this has any stake whatsoever. This is a personally project; I don't expect to gain fame or money from it; the book is available for free, and therefore there is less pressure for me to do everything perfectly. But I suppose, I still feel worried after all... whether people would be graceful enough to welcome these words in their heart and let them visit in and have a conversation.

"League of the Wicked" has the taste of... my anguished feelings as a young adult. I mean, I'm still young too, by the time I'm writing this, but I'm not that young anymore either. That's why I limit the collection to include my works from the year 2018 up to 2022. Has there been no more post with the theme that matched after that year? There are, a few. But as days go by, I find them to come less and less frequently. And that's also why I titled this post-mortem as a "Letter from the Future".

So what changed? I'm not sure. "League of the Wicked" is basically the feeling of a youth (me) who grew up in a world that taught them about Shame and Guilt. There's the burden of being a good person, the expectation that you should always strive to be virtuous, and to take responsibilities... But despite all the "goodness" these teachings try to instill in us, something about them feel twisted; they twist us. Because it seems like we can never be like what our parents and elder told us to be. Because those teachings reject certain parts of us that don't match its criteria of "good." And we can't help but find these "bad" parts within us and therefore, we can't possibly be "good."

And eventually, the youth (me) had enough; they didn't want to live condemning themself, and therefore they chose to own their "ugliness". That's how the "League of the Wicked" is born.

And now? Am I not that youth anymore? I don't know. I want to believe I am still them. But I have been working, if not yet outside of me, then at least within me first--to create a world where these youths don't have to suffer from the feeling of rejection anymore. So that they don't have to feel that the world is against them. And I'm pretty sure, if there are more and more people who come to learn to love these rejected parts inside of them, and create a safe space for them, then more and more people will create safe space on the outer world too.

Ultimately, that is my hope--even if a distant one--in sharing this work, this story of "League of the Wicked" with everyone.

Through this "League of the Wicked", I have tried to make peace with myself for having to live in this world of burning cages, this Madman Land. I hope, eventually you can do that too. And maybe one day, not only we will be able to take control of our cage, maybe we will be able to turn it into a garden into which we can invite others to take some respite from this exhausting life as well.

(Amen.)